It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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