i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
