My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
