i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
