It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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