come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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