Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
there was a trapeze. enough said
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
