how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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