So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize