guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
