Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize