hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Drunk is not a location!
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
