Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
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