Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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