so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
where are my eyebrows?
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