i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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