I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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