gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Randomize
