super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
