OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
