i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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