She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
