Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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