You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
