Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Someone shattered a urinal.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
