okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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