A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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