How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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