Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
