my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
