Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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