apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
