Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
