i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
