Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize