I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
