this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Randomize
