she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
