That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
