my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
