Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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