The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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