how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
from now on my penis is your penis
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
soo... how was my night?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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