she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
