why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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