my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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