ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize