Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
