Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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