hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
