Is it because I queefed?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The uberlube is also flammable
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
