Well douche your snatch and let's go!
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize