please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
As shirtless as possible
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
