So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
