i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
