Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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