I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Of course I have a pirate flag
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
