North Korea, Best Korea!
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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