You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
